Prepare to sing “The Happy Ending”. Here is a A recording. At auditions, ACTors will sing along with the piano.
When you see a guy reach for stars in the sky
You can bet that he's doing it for some doll
When you spot a John waiting out in the rain
Chances are he's insane as only a John can be for a Jane
When you meet a gent
Paying all kinds of rent
For a flat that could flatten the taj ma-hal
Call it sad, call it funny, but it's better than even money
That the guys only doing it for some doll
The guys only doing it for some doll!
Thank you, Miss Sarah… People, I also have a confession to make, and I got to get it off my chest. We did shoot crap here last night and we’re all sorry. Ain’t we, boys? But I did another terrible thing. I made a bet with a certain guy that he could not take a certain dolly away with him on a trip, and this I should not have done, although it did not do any harm, as I won the bet. The guy told me that he didn’t take the doll. Well, that makes me feel a lot better. Hallelujah!
When I was a young man about to go out in the world, my father says to me a very valuable thing. “Son,” the old guy says, “…one of these days in your travels a guy is going to come to you with a brand new deck of cards and offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear. But son, do not bet this man, for as sure as you are standing there you are going to wind up with an ear full of cider.” Now, Nathan, I do not claim that you have been clocking Mindy’s cheesecake… However, if you’re really looking for some action — I will bet you the same thousand that you do not know the color of the necktie you have on.
Please! Let us not have a vulgar scene. After all, we are civilized people — we do not have to conduct ourselves like a slob. It’s no use, Nathan. I have succeeded in your not being able to upset me no more. I have got you completely out of my…
ADELAIDE sneezes, starts weeping.)
Oh, Nathan! Look, Nathan darling, we can still make everything all right. Look — it’s not even midnight yet. Five minutes to twelve — let’s elope right now!
Brothers and Sisters, resist the Devil and he will flee from you. That is what the Bible tells us. Hear me, you gamblers! …with your dice, your cards, your horses. Just around the corner is our little Mission where you are always welcome to seek refuge from this jungle of sin. Join me, Brothers and Sisters, in resisting the Devil, and we can put… the Devil…
(SARAH looks around hopelessly; but then continues with the little hope she has left.)
Remember, friends, the Save-a-Soul Mission located at 409 West 49th Street, open all day and all night… Oh, never mind.
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Last updated: Wed May 25 22:00 2016 EDT